Here it is

Here is the monologue I wrote and chose for my Acting 1 class. This is actually inspired by a paper I composed my junior year of high school. I took part of that and tweaked it a little bit. It is in free write poetic form and is the story of a hard time in my life.

The Natural Color

It came one day

the cry for help.

And I knew I had to go

into the deepest parts of her,

no matter the

pain,

and I had to bring her back.

No one else could

retrieve

that light-filled soul

that had fallen into

black,

but me,

not even god.

I was utterly alone.

She was surrounded.

Surrounded by the

walls

that blocked me

out.

I would scream at them

why

I would pound on them

why

until the pain was real.

They laughed

knowing they were stronger

than I could ever be.

But

they being soaked

with my tears

my sweat

my blood,

gave in.

She was coming

back

to me.

Someone I thought I had lost.

And for a moment

things were okay.

I was okay.

But in my selfish need

to help

I fell.

I took upon myself

the heavy burdens

of her life

as well as

mine,

it weighed me

down,

until I could breathe

no more.

I could no longer

keep out the pain of reality

and it overtook,

laid siege,

and became me.

My sanity was

beating on the

brick walls

until they were stained

the natural color

of pain.

This was not normal.

This was not okay.

All

I ever did was

cry and

sleep and

hurt.

That’s all I knew.

I couldn’t function.

I couldn’t breathe.

I couldn’t eat.

It got to a point,

a point too far:

too extreme.

I needed help

but I was too weak to find it.

The only thing on my mind

became a horror.

I became a horror.

I looked down.

My arm was torn

and the skin under my

nails was red.

The feeling had left

my body

long ago.

The care I had once felt was absent

and after saving someone

else

I couldn’t even save myself.

I gasped.

Where I had I been

these past months?

I could either barely recollect

or vividly remember

what I

had

done.

I was someone who lost meaning,

lost purpose,

and lost good

in their life.

Being able to do nothing

she sat

and watched

and pained

for the

damage

I had done to myself,

but she brought me back.

I could feel

and I thanked her

for restoring my true color.

Without her I would be lifeless.