FULL

You don't have to read it again, but it was suggested that the unedited version was put up, so here you are for a fuller understanding of this story.

The Natural Color

(FULL)

It came one day

the cry for help.

And I knew I had to go

into the deepest parts of her,

no matter the

pain,

and I had to bring her back.

No one else could.

No one else

retrieve

that light-filled soul

that had fallen into

black,

but me.

And there was no one to help.

No one able

to understand.

Not even God.

I was utterly alone

on the path into Hell.

Like trying to prepare for

an earthquake,

there was so little I could do to

prepare for this 9/11 experience.

Hope

was all I had.

If that.

She was surrounded.

Surrounded by the

walls

that blocked me

out.

I would scream at them

why

I would pound on them

why

until the pain was real.

They laughed

knowing they were stronger

than I could ever be.

But

they being soaked

with my tears

my sweat

my blood,

gave in.

And it begun.

I had done it,

and she was coming

back

to me.

Someone I thought I had lost.

She was the sun shining,

emerging from those

dark clouds.

And for a moment

things were okay.

I was okay.

But in my selfish need

to help

I fell.

I took upon myself

the heavy burdens

of her life

as well as

mine,

and it weighed me

down,

until I could breathe

no more.

I could no longer

keep out the pain of reality

and it overtook,

laid siege,

and became me.

My sanity was

beating on the

brick walls

until they were stained

the natural color

of pan.

I cried

and

cried

and cried.

This was not normal.

This was not okay.

All

I ever did was

cry and

sleep and

hurt.

That’s all I knew.

I couldn’t function.

I couldn’t breathe.

I couldn’t eat.

All I could do was

cry, sleep, hurt.

It got to a point,

a point too far:

too extreme.

I needed help

but I was too weak to find it.

The only thing on my mind

became a horror.

I became a horror.

I looked down.

My arm was torn

and the skin under my

nails was red.

The feeling had left

my body

long ago.

The care I had once felt was absent

and after saving someone

else

I couldn’t even save myself.

I gasped.

Where was I?

Where I had I been

these past months?

What happened to me?

I could either barely recollect

or vividly remember

what I

had

done.

I was someone who lost meaning,

lost purpose,

and lost good

in their life.

And she was next to me,

_______ the believing

sat and watched.

Being able to do nothing

she sat

and watched

and pained

for the

damage

I had done to myself,

She brought me back.

I could feel

and I thanked her

for relieving me

of

the devil’s grasp.

I could never repay her,

without her I would be lifeless,

because of her

I was okay.