The aftermath

The aftermath of it all

The day came to perform my monologue. I went second-to last. It was absolutely terrifying. I was shaking the whole time and my adrenaline was through the roof. My biggest fear was mostly that I did not know my lines well enough, even though I practiced them diligently for days. It came about that I knew my lines better than I thought. Sometimes we really psych ourselves out. We second guess things, sometimes even our entire lives and we shouldn't. We must continue to do our best, and when it come time to test if that best is enough, all we can do is hope that it is and know that we did what we could. Worry never solves anything, it only makes things worse.We must teach ourselves to be confident in what we do and how we work. In times that we seem to fail, or our best isn't good enough, all we can do is let it go and continue to grow. We must remember how hard we worked and how good we are. It's okay to be satisfied, proud even, of yourself. As long as at the end of the day we can say that we did our best and that at least we are happy with ourselves, we have succeeded. If not, that doesn't mean you have failed, it means that you have learned and that hopefully you can take that and make the next day even a little bit better. That's what life is about.

Back to presenting my monologue: Although it was scary and I was nervous (which doesn't happen often) I felt so good afterwards. I was proud of myself for doing it. Getting up in front of my class and sharing a vulnerable piece of me with them was liberating. I feel comfortable in front of them. I think that some may have understood my monologue more than others, but either way, they understood something about me and I about them as I watched my classmates open, That is such a priceless thing to share with a person. I love this class more than any other because we all do have that bond and comfort with one another; it will only continue to grow too. Opening yourself up can be scary, even for the people who seem like they've got it together or seem like more of an open book. Everyone has those vulnerable parts of them, and there are few things more beautiful than sharing those with another human being.