Second real monologue

For those who may want to read it, here is the second real monologue I have chosen. I chose this monologue because it is a great contrast from my previous Saint Joan monologue. This is a comedic piece from The Odd Couple by Neil Simon.

Olive: I’ll tell you exactly what it is. It’s the cooking, the cleaning and the crying. It’s the talking in your sleep. It’s the moose calls that open your ears at two o’clock in the morning. I can’t take it any more, Florence. I’m cracking up. Everything you do irritates me. And when you’re not here, the things I know you’re going to do when you come in irritate me… You leave little notes on my pillows. “We’re all out of corn flakes. F.U.” ...It took me three hours to figure out that F.U. was Florence Unger…That’s just the frame. The picture I haven’t even painted yet… Every night in my diary I write down the things you did that day that aggravate me… This is June and so far I filled up to January… And I haven’t even put down the Gazpacho brothers yet. For eight months I’ve lived all alone in this apartment.  I thought I was miserable.  I thought I was lonely.  I took you in here because I thought we could help each other…and after three weeks of close personal contact, I have hives, shingles, and the heartbreak of psoriasis*…I am growing old at twice the speed of sound…I have seven new liver spots on my hand that look like the Big Dipper…(Beat) I can’t take any more, Florence…Do me a favor and move into the kitchen.  Live with your pots, your pans, your ladle, and your meat thermometer…I’m going inside to lie down now.