I know I'm sharp and I cut deep

First off, don't get your hopes up or anything-- the title may have nothing to do with what I write (I honestly don't know, I don't plan these things). I just accidentally said that to someone and I went major introspective and it was weird and now I love that phrase and I am obsessed with it. If that phrase doesn't vibe with me then nothing does (and if you don't recognize that it does you probably don't really know me so let's hang out more, okay).

I feel a lot and so I write and maybe cry and sometimes draw (okay who am I kidding, crying is not a question). Also, calm down, I'm fine, don't get all worried or anything.

I miss you. I do a ridiculous amount. I didn't realize the action of 'missing' someone, yearning for one's company, whatever you will call it, presents itself as pain (both physical and not) and purely as such. I don't know if everyone else feels it that way. It makes me want to rip my skin off and tear my heart out (in the least dramatic sense possible)- pain like that. It is frustrating to me when an emotion, like jealousy or forlorn, presents itself as a physical pain- mostly because not a lot of people have that experience often and so it's not something I know how to explain or excuse.
I feel pain very intensely and oddly if you will. I hate it, I'm a total baby (sorry not sorry).
I love people so much and I miss them so much. I need them. I think I can say with surety that only one person understands in its completeness what I am about to say (and you know who you are, love). I love everyone close to me like family- genuinely and wholly so. I want to be with you as much as I do with my family because you, and them, you're all family to me. I don't even know how to explain the concept, just know I love you as deeply as you love your blood (circumstance pending ((for you, that is))).

This is a weird blog post but it's not over so bear with me.

I had a thought that I have found to be true when it comes pain that is not physical.
Things don't hurt unless they don't have a solution or the solution is unforeseeable. Or, as well, in some cases, the solution is morally or physically improbable/impossible.
Just think on that one.

"I know I'm sharp and I cut deep."
Let's talk about this for two seconds. That's true. If you know me, it's true. I was once asked something like, "If we were to become close friends, what would be important for me to know?"
I answered simply and replied, "That I am difficult." Now, I mean that in all exactness, and I explained such when I answered this question. That's all I want to say on the matter.

Know that I love you and miss you deeply. Sleep Well.

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