T H E C R U C I B L E
I have no words to describe the effect this show has had on me- good as well as bad.
I don't know how to describe how it has made me mentally, emotionally, and physically sick. How it has pushed me and broken me, completely.
I have been a mess (If you're my roommates or my mom then you know). An utter and complete mess since day one of rehearsal. November 1st. I was death herself.
This was the first straight play I had ever done in my life (go me!) and I am pretty proud of myself for that. I sing, okay? Yeah, whatever, I am an actor and I should be great at that and blah blah blah but no- I sing. I am a great singer. This I know. So of course, my work has been in musicals, and strictly so. In the shows I've done, when I haven't been in the ensemble, I have been a character that is important to the plot, but luckily doesn't speak all that much. Maybe she has a song or two and a small scene. That is what I am used to.
And then The Crucible came along. I'll be honest, I did not plan on auditioning for this show, let alone actually being in this show. I didn't really want to do a straight play. I didn't want to push myself like that. But it would stretch me and I knew that and I was reminded of that so I did audition. And I received the role I auditioned for- Judge Danforth. So now I am a part of the cast of The Crucible: a more difficult, first straight play there couldn't be. The Crucible is a hard show in general. The language is an obstacle in and of itself. Now add in a small space, limited scenery and props, minimalistic in general, and playing double characters and wow, now this show is 12x harder. And I am grateful.
{Now let me remind you that I am ridiculously organized, immaculately concise and specific, and the Queen of time-management. I am not a worrier. I do not stress or carry much stress ever. I do not think about the future extensively. I am simple and I live my life very simply.}
Working on this show had me in the worst possible place, mentally and emotionally, and later physically. But it's over now and it was so very necessary.
But oh, how this show has redeemed me. How it has saved me and secured my soul. I have been deeply blessed to be in this show and work with these people. We had a lovely cast. Not only so talent but so kind- so thoughtful, so loving. We all were watching out for each other. We all had each other's backs. I want to tell you about an experience I had during our Friday run.
I was very sick from first dress to closing night, ironically enough. I was okay to push through, but our Friday performance was at 10pm and my exhausted, sick body was not happy. The first little bit of Act 1 I was good, I was fine. But then it got really hot and I felt really weak and sick. We turn around and stand for 30+ minutes as part of "the wall" and I stood back there silently with tears falling down my face. I felt so sick and I was in so much pain. What was I going to do- I was so afraid that I would not make it through Act 2. As I am standing back there, frantic, I had a thought to ask one of the cast members for a blessing. The moment we get off-stage for intermission, I asked this cast member for a blessing and we took a simple and personal moment with God for healing and for strength. Everyone else was checking in on me, giving me their energy and anything I needed, hugs included. Everyone had my back, and though I felt very scared and vulnerable, I felt loved and I felt taken care of and I felt grateful. I knew that I would be alright because of these people that I was with.
This cast was a blessing and we miss each other, I think.
Being a part of this show has brought me closer to God and those I love. Never have I played a role that has pushed me so and forced me to grow and get over my insecurities, trusting fully in Him. Never have I had an experience such as this one. The Crucible has been the biggest curse, but an even bigger blessing in my life. Gosh, such a blessing.
Thank you, everyone, who has pushed me and pulled me and held me and loved me and supported me. I could not have done it without any of you.
Change is painful but it is necessary. We need each other. Love is love is love is love is love.
I don't know how to describe how it has made me mentally, emotionally, and physically sick. How it has pushed me and broken me, completely.
I have been a mess (If you're my roommates or my mom then you know). An utter and complete mess since day one of rehearsal. November 1st. I was death herself.
This was the first straight play I had ever done in my life (go me!) and I am pretty proud of myself for that. I sing, okay? Yeah, whatever, I am an actor and I should be great at that and blah blah blah but no- I sing. I am a great singer. This I know. So of course, my work has been in musicals, and strictly so. In the shows I've done, when I haven't been in the ensemble, I have been a character that is important to the plot, but luckily doesn't speak all that much. Maybe she has a song or two and a small scene. That is what I am used to.
And then The Crucible came along. I'll be honest, I did not plan on auditioning for this show, let alone actually being in this show. I didn't really want to do a straight play. I didn't want to push myself like that. But it would stretch me and I knew that and I was reminded of that so I did audition. And I received the role I auditioned for- Judge Danforth. So now I am a part of the cast of The Crucible: a more difficult, first straight play there couldn't be. The Crucible is a hard show in general. The language is an obstacle in and of itself. Now add in a small space, limited scenery and props, minimalistic in general, and playing double characters and wow, now this show is 12x harder. And I am grateful.
{Now let me remind you that I am ridiculously organized, immaculately concise and specific, and the Queen of time-management. I am not a worrier. I do not stress or carry much stress ever. I do not think about the future extensively. I am simple and I live my life very simply.}
Working on this show had me in the worst possible place, mentally and emotionally, and later physically. But it's over now and it was so very necessary.
But oh, how this show has redeemed me. How it has saved me and secured my soul. I have been deeply blessed to be in this show and work with these people. We had a lovely cast. Not only so talent but so kind- so thoughtful, so loving. We all were watching out for each other. We all had each other's backs. I want to tell you about an experience I had during our Friday run.
I was very sick from first dress to closing night, ironically enough. I was okay to push through, but our Friday performance was at 10pm and my exhausted, sick body was not happy. The first little bit of Act 1 I was good, I was fine. But then it got really hot and I felt really weak and sick. We turn around and stand for 30+ minutes as part of "the wall" and I stood back there silently with tears falling down my face. I felt so sick and I was in so much pain. What was I going to do- I was so afraid that I would not make it through Act 2. As I am standing back there, frantic, I had a thought to ask one of the cast members for a blessing. The moment we get off-stage for intermission, I asked this cast member for a blessing and we took a simple and personal moment with God for healing and for strength. Everyone else was checking in on me, giving me their energy and anything I needed, hugs included. Everyone had my back, and though I felt very scared and vulnerable, I felt loved and I felt taken care of and I felt grateful. I knew that I would be alright because of these people that I was with.
This cast was a blessing and we miss each other, I think.
Being a part of this show has brought me closer to God and those I love. Never have I played a role that has pushed me so and forced me to grow and get over my insecurities, trusting fully in Him. Never have I had an experience such as this one. The Crucible has been the biggest curse, but an even bigger blessing in my life. Gosh, such a blessing.
Thank you, everyone, who has pushed me and pulled me and held me and loved me and supported me. I could not have done it without any of you.
Change is painful but it is necessary. We need each other. Love is love is love is love is love.
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